Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Melancholy

Today's post has no pictures. I'm not feeling very colorful today. Except for blue. I'm feeling a little blue. My mind and heart are flooded -- seriously flooded -- with memories. The flooding causes my eyes to overflow with tears.

I am blessed way more than I deserve. But yet I feel blue. Everyone around me is so busy getting ready for the last day of school. There have been field days, awards ceremonies, end-of-the-year parties and the like. And I am doing none of these things that used to fill my schedule this time of year.

I was the room mom for Ross and Cam every single year of their elementary school days. When they were in elementary together, I was room mom for two classes. And I did it without batting an eye. Jeff always helped me. We were a good team. Getting ready for parties, field days, so many things.

On the last day of school, I would have prepared for two parties. I always spent more than I should have and did way more than was necessary. I would get to the school and there would never be any place to park. Moms just like me filling up all the empty spaces. I would carry as much as I could from the car to the school, always having to make multiple trips. And in Georgia in May, it is h-o-t. I'd get in the classroom pouring sweat and breathless. I'd set up for one party, then head to the other classroom to set up for it. Back and forth I'd go, not wanting to miss a minute of either one. Thankfully, the boys were in elementary school together a few years. I would come home at the end of the day pooped.

There is definitely a feeling in the air at the end of the school year. Out with the old and in with the new. Celebrating all the things accomplished in the past 180 school days. Looking forward to summertime, no homework, no set time to get in bed or to get out of it.

For me now, the last week of school involves signing a paper for Cam to check out after his exams. That's it. That's all. No parties. No games. No cheap goodies stuffed in goodie bags. No piles of snacks and drinks all over my dining room table waiting to go to the school.

I like the freedom that comes with having older kids, but I sure miss the old days. I don't know if I have very many readers with children in elementary school. If I do, I tell you this. Enjoy. It's busy. It's crazy. You're probably exhausted. But savor each and every second. This summer I'll be having my baby's senior pictures made. And I can truly say that I don't know where the time has gone.

Till next time...

9 comments:

Theresa said...

Hear comes a big hug... I remember the feeling when it was over. But, I always jumped in and participated with someone else's kids:) With all the nieces and nephews you have, jump in your cute little car, let the top down and buzz to Buford for their party or with Ethan and Joseph:) Make a plate of cookies and eat half of them on the ride. Just wait until you have grandkids, you get to do it all over again. It feels even better:) Love you dear Niecey! Auntie T.

Barbara said...

Well sweetie I can step right long side of you, and hand you a tissue, one for me one for you, I too am a mom of grown children, yeah it does take some getting used to. But you will, and others things will occupy your time in these last days of school. Hugs and praying for you to get through this day day, and to give God the glory for something he does today.
Lots of extra hugs, Barbara

Joyce said...

I miss it too... and look how old my kids are! lol! When I see the kids yelling from the bus windows on the last day it always brings tears to my eyes. Theresa is right.... grandkids do help fill that void and light up your life with little ones again! You need some little ones in your life! Love you! xoxo

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

Big Hug. I still get that feeling every now and then. Last time I had it...Kat was actually with me...at my house...and I talked her into sitting down and letting me hold her in the rocking chair for a few minutes...it worked for both of us. :-)

suzanne said...

Lawdy girl, you know how to make a girl tear up! I'm feeling bittersweet about the end of the school year. We've been doing a little talk every morning... well, this is the last Monday you'll be a kindergartener. Next time you go to school on a Monday you'll be a first grader, middle schooler, seventh grader. My girl will be in middle school, and just yesterday she started kindergarten wearing that little school jumper Mimi made her... tears...
I, too, can honestly say I don't know where the years have gone!

Crystal said...

Well my sweet sentimental sis....I swear I can hardly type through the tears..Ethan has been meaning to call you all week and see if you wanted to come to his party Friday, but he just hasn't called yet. He has awards tomorrow morning also if you would like to join me. I have tears for different reasons though because as I have been the "BREAD WINNER" in the past years when Joseph was in elementary school and when Ethan was in his very early years of elementary school, I have had to miss many of those functions and I know that I have missed out on many many memories.....just cherish the ones that you have, and I know Ethan has cherished the times that you have been there for him at school!!

wendy said...

That was a lovely post and I 100% felt everything you said.
Where does the time go
How is it our little ones grow so quickly.
All those hours and times spent with the parties, the presentations in school---gone
with the mere signature from a parent to "check out early"
We should NEVER check out early like they want to in senior high school
Life is too short.
never check out
enjoy and savor every precious moment

billypandnikkysmom said...

I read your post at work earlier to day & cried....I know exactly how you are feeling!!! I miss mine being small too, I am hoping that once Nikky is married she & Mike get to working on a grandbaby for me ;) Hope you are feeling better soon....

jennifer said...

My daughter starts high school in the fall. I can hardly believe that she is that old! If I dwell on it for any length of time, I feel blue too.

Hope you are starting to feel less blue and enjoying your summer.