Tuesday, May 12, 2009

True Confessions

It's time, girls. The grand facade is over. I've lived this awful lie far too long. It's time I came clean with the truth, no matter how painful it is. It's just too hard for me to keep living the lie.
It's no big scandal. It won't make headlines on any tabloid magazine at the checkout stand. It is pretty important to me though. I've spent thousands of dollars in the years I've been married on kitchen gadgets, pots, pans, cookbooks, aprons, potholders, choppers, mixers, and anything and everything in between. The love's just not there. I hate it. I hate it.

As part of my cleansing process, I'm listing here several top reasons why I HATE COOKING (in no particular order):

1. Following recipes.

No matter how hard I try, even if I take the recipe with me to the store when I buy the ingredients, I never have EVERYTHING that I need. It happens over and over again without fail. It could be one simple ingredient, but it's ALWAYS something.

2. Digging through the cabinets for the pots and pans I need or plowing through the drawers for the utensils. As I've said, I have a lot of pots and pans and a lot of utensils. The simple solution, you might say, would be to get rid of some of them. But who knows, I may turn over a new leaf one day and like to cook. Then I'd have to go and buy all new buy all new pots, pans and utensils.

3. I DO NOT LIKE TO TOUCH RAW MEAT. And, in fact, after I have touched it and caressed it with spices I can't eat it. At all.

4. What I cook never tastes good to me. Now, I'm not talking about baking here. You could bake dirt pies and sprinkle powdered sugar on them and they'd taste great. I'm talking about real food.

5. What takes me three hours to cook takes my family and me three minutes to eat. Honestly, wouldn't we be just as content and full to eat a sandwich or a bowl of cereal.

6. After cooking the crummy meal that I don't even want to think about eating, then I'm left with this. I don't get it. How is this supposed to be a satisfying thing for me to do?

What brought me to this confessional state is the supper I made for us last night. It was kinda fancy and pretty southern. Shrimp and grits. It was a pain in the patooty. Jeff and Ross thought it was delicious. Ross said it was his new favorite dish. Jeff gave it an unheard of "A". Cam didn't feel well, so he wasn't hungry. I could've eaten a cucumber on a cracker and been just as happy. Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Do it for my family. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, already.

Besides, there must surely be better things to do with my time besides cook and clean up dishes. Such as. . .

. . . Open pretty prizes from Blogger Friends. Like this gorgeous basket I got from my new friend, Karen. I won her 200th post giveaway. I was so excited to get her package in the mail yesterday.
She was very generous and I can hardly wait to listen to the CDs that were included. I'm in my car a lot driving for work, so they'll be great company. One of them was a Still Magnolias CD, which, according to Karen's blog is a group that she sings with. Hmmmmm. Will I be hearing you sing, Karen? Thank you, Karen, for your VERY thoughtful and pampering gift. I can't wait to dig into the poetry book. Y'all jump on over to her blog and pay her a visit. She's a sweetie.

Guess that's it for Tuesday. Till tomorrow.


Theresa said...

I had cooking block last night so we just had a hot dog! Yours sound much yummier:) Love you and congrats on your win.

Cindy Lou said...

Well everyone my say that we look alike and I think we do, but girl I would have to say..."I LOVE TO COOK!!" My most fav is to find a new recipe or for Tracy to find one and try it out! But that gift looked AMAZING!! I sure bet you had fun digging in that basket! I hope you have a great day, love you lots!!

Laura said...

I am laughing while I write this. Especially after I wrote on blog last night!

You have a friend!


Joycee said...

You don't have to fess up, but that's cleansing! I have one daughter who loves to cook and one who doesn't. When the "Doesn't" moved away I gave her the 3 Ingredient Cookbook and she hasn't starved yet. It's ok!
joy c. at grannymountain

suzanne said...

Halelujah! You are keeping it real! I, too, am a member of the Hate to Cook Club. Actually, I'm president and founder.
At least your stuff always tastes good. You're actually a good cook. Me on the other hand, I think my stuff just tastes gross.
Now baking is another story. I really do like to bake. Our Mother just didn't give us her cooking gene, I guess.
Oh, well, we have lots of other talents, you know.
And I swear I KEEP hearing that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, you and I know another way that works a lot better, right??
Love you!

jennifer said...

I don't like to cook either and I think you did an excellent job listing the reasons why.

Congratulations on the giveaway! She sent you a lot of loot!

2Thinks said...

This is too funny. I actually like to cook, but I really don't cook fancy stuff much. Hey, I won something from a blogger too! I won a book called Spilt Milk that the blogger wrote. So cool. I want to find something to give away on my blog. If you start giving away your kitchen gadgets, let me know...ha. By the way, I'm a brand new blogger. Visit me sometime.- Heidi at

wendy said...

I so have to agree with the whole cooking thing. It has never EVER been something I enjoy. Too much work for like you said, only a moment to gobble it up, then everyone walks away leaving you in the mess. Shrimp and grits ---sounds good though!!! and sometimes trying to read those recipes is like sending someone through NASA

Joyce said...

I'm with you, girlfriend! I don't like to cook, either. It does seem like a waste of time. Especially pies! In my house it seemed like so much work and the family inhaled it and it was gone. It's like spending hours stacking card and someone comes along and bumps the table! Enjoyed your post!