Saturday, August 8, 2009

All Out of Sugar

This time I seem to be out of one of the key ingredients to make lemonade from the lemons of life. The sugar. The second most important ingredient. The one that makes it sweet and bearable to drink. I'm out. I'm empty. I have none.

Cam was in a car accident yesterday, and everyone is fine. No one had even a single scratch. For that I am so very thankful. Truly. It happened at an extremely busy intersection not a mile from his school. This one involved three cars, including his. The front car had stopped to turn left into Subway. A girl driving a smaller pickup truck evidently didn't see him and she slammed into the first car. Her sudden stop caused Cam to slam into the rear end of her truck. All three cars were pretty messed up. The girl's truck had to be towed. Cam and I drove his home. I don't know if it could've been prevented on Cam's part or not. The girl had evidently taken her foot off the brake, since her car wasn't running, and Cam said he never saw her taillights. I don't know. He got a ticket. She got a ticket. All three have wrecked cars and stressed out parents, as they were all students at Union Grove.

Last night my spirit was broken. I had a meltdown from it all. I had truly hoped that today I would feel better. I don't. As I'm typing this, I'm as choked up as I was last night.

I know things could be so much worse. I could've spent a sleepless night at a hospital with my son. I could've spent a sleepless night comforting a son who had badly injured or even killed someone with the truck he so dearly loves. I know all this. Yet still I'm broken. And I'm going to experience every second of the brokenness until it goes away on its own. I don't want to sweep it under a rug or pretend I'm fine. I'm going to feel it. Allow myself to cry, allow myself to frown. Allow myself to have an overwhelming feeling of dread for Monday when we have to deal with the insurance, police reports, and all the other things that go along with having an accident. Then when the feeling is done with me, I'll live, love and laugh again.

Till tomorrow.

10 comments:

Theresa said...

Oh my Precious Niece, this is a big 'ole Auntie Theresa hug coming thru this computer to you, I am squeezing you till you poot:) I am so sorry for you and for Cam. A wreck is a pain in the booty, yes we have insurance, yes we have a neighborhood friend of your Dad to fix it, yes we have life and limbs... BUT it is a pain and I know that! Get it out, scream and go shopping! Buy you a new dress or a pair of comfortable shoes:) Love you and yell if you need a real life hug!!!!!

Cindy Lou said...

Oh my poor Kelly!(((((<>)))))
That was a hug from your other Auntie!!! I am so sorry for the both of you and the other children and parents! I sure hope that things look better for you today! Like Theresa said maybe some retail therapy may help!! I love you and I am here if you need me!

Kelly said...

Even retail therapy can't help me this time. :-(

Barbo said...

Barbo Therapy Go to your bedroom ask to be left alone take something to drink a good murder mystery Love You and Yours

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

I am sending you a big bloggy hug. These things can be so stressful. My daughter Kat had one in Montgomery...sounded very much like this one....and she left the scene...cause she and the guy she hit decided...it was ok....but Daddy of boy called the police when son got home and reported her. I was teaching an hour away...and had to leave school and go get my daughter and get her to the police station before they arrested her for leaving the scene. She learned a big lesson. God bless you all Kelly and may today be much better.

doublegranny said...

I am sending you a great big hug!! Like you said cry scream do anything and let it all out. I love you and glad things were not worse than they were.

suzanne said...

I know how upset you are, and I'm sorry this happened to you (and Cam). We just want to make our kids happy, which isn't always a great thing. But we can't change. We ALL love you so much, and my heart is hurting with you. I know that everything will be fine.
LYLASAM :0)

tracychele said...

I am sending you a great big hug too! Even though you can think of how much worse it could have been and that eases it a little, it still stinks! I am glad everyone was ok! I also know you probably have the feeling of "When it rains, it pours". Like my Mom always says (aside from saying I had a bunch of wrecks ;) "This too shall pass"! Love you and keep your head up, once you get over the initial shock!

Joyce said...

You go ahead and scream and cry! You've had a rough couple of weeks!!!! I am saying a super special prayer for you that things He turns things around and blesses you. That is what you deserve. What doesn't break you will make you stronger. right? I know... that doesn't help. But prayers will!

Missy said...

I am so sorry, but so glad your son is ok! Go ahead and cry! It is the best therapy! Hugs and prayers for you!